WTF is wrong with us?

I’ve been on the IPOS (injured piece of shit) list from running for a little over 5 weeks now. It’s difficult when this is the one thing that you look forward to in order to relieve your mind from all the evil inside. 

Not that I haven’t been trying to heal well.  I’ve been going to PT like a good runner should. Ledesma Sports Medicine, by far, knows how to get a runner back in action. I was told I was allowed to pool run (no bottom touching) and bike. Which, ehhh, kinda sorta helps. I’ve been going to the gym and working on my upper body and core strength with the guided help from my husband and my own knowledge. And in all, I’m really building some sexy muscle. But whhhy do us runners put this to the side? Oh. we’d rather run.  Why do I run? Why do I need this?   

As I was talking to a friend today, I realized I am craving pain. Not the pain from injury. But from accomplishment. From, in my twisted little mind, success from running hard, running long, and running to sheer elation. To exhaust my body with pride of what I just did. Usually from a race, but I often accomplish that from training.

You would think doing all that cross training would have some effect? Right? Please? But no. I’ve been pushing as hard as I’m allowed and have time for. Rowing, kayaking, battle ropes, biking, pool running, swimming, weights, Jacobs ladder, stair climber… I am doing it all. But that mind blowing, yet numbing sensation with a little tingle is not there. I want that. I want that bad. 

I have learned  that I am aging. Whaaaat?!! Yes, my body like yours, will say enough is enough for a bit and stop you. Maybe give you a break that you wouldn’t take unless you were made to. We weren’t made to last forever anyway. I do recognize the inevitable but I have committed to happiness for the rest of EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I am here.   

So in order to get what I need to continue my journey of a happy life with running I had to commit to this. Strength and cross training is a very important part of being able to run. So I am looking forward to doing both once I get the green light.

Why am I being so good and listening to my doctors? 

Well after years of not listening, I feel I have no other choice…and I want to be successful at my next “A” race and every adventure there after.. That “A” race is a bucket list, and I want to feel I have the strength and ability to complete it well. You know, without looking like I’m dying at the finish which is not easy to do when running 100 miles through WV mountains. I only have till November to get in tip top shape so I’m eager to get to the trails. But I’ll wait. Not patiently, but while gritting my teeth and holding my tongue. 

2 more weeks,  2 very looooong weeks

My excitement to get back at it is a bit exaggerated maybe to some but to feel every inch of that discomfort and suffering (is it really suffering though?) from a long, hard run. Omg.…wtf is wrong with us ultrarunners/ adventure seekers anyway?